today

caught flu, and the damn cacat bus air cond made everything worse.

couldnt sleep well the whole night and gotto wake up so early for the class which was cancelled after that, after we all took more than an hour to reach =.=... and failed to persuade the lecturer of following lecture to bring it forward, alright... we had no choice but to WAIT!!! After feeling lost for two hours, we were fooled by that lecturer saying that we got no class. so happily we headed to the bus station to go back, and not even ten minutes after we all got so excited somebody called and said that the lecturer went back to the class saying we would have the class... omg@@ SO, after he satisfied with his singing of lullabies... we finally got our butts on the bus seats. THEN... this stupid bus is worse than the morning one, we got ourselves seats at last row and the aircond and air ventilation were super out of maintenance! for thousand years i guess! can totally feel the absence of absorber! cant sleep at all=.= plus the sweats... cant even have my head rest on! like there were continuous road bumps all the way... looking out the window at the cows crossing road i felt so wanna jump out from my warm seat and stretch and jump to feel my weak limbs... the dry hot wind kept blowing out from the fan points onto my head, felt like a layer of dust was sprayed all over my brain no wonder i felt so numb! finally it reached at twenty minutes past the starting time of the grooming workshop which we were rushing to. dragged my body up to third floor to my room, grabbed the fee receipt, took my heavy laptop out from my bag, and out to the cafe to have that rice which i think they only fried with salt and only salt, and... she forgot to bring her bottle, and mine only a quarter left. shared the gulps till the last drop and walked back into hostel to get it refilled. THEN! we finally on our way walking to the so called banquet hall,(which is actually a lot nicer than the one to be mentioned later!) which we thought it's inside the chancellery building, till we reached second floor by lift and almost going to push the grand looking door, a clerk from the office on the other side walked by us and asked upon curiousity... omg, what a shame... we've been here for three and a half years... although it has just officially operated for a year or less, but, we're seniors... anyway, that's not the point. skip long at this.(hahaha)so coincidently that lady also wanted to go to the building which we were supposed to be at, we followed her walking under the scorching sun again, felt like getting sunburn, pain on my arm skin! and there the banquet hall is... it's just few steps away from the cafe that last time we used to have our teatime or breakfast at times after or before our lab session... and i never noticed nor entered it before... maybe it just doesn't look like one, what a banquet hall, well, as long as it's given that name =.=... the door were so widely opened to welcome us as if it knew that we would come. before we going in we could see from the outside a young lady was giving her talk without a mic and everyone was so concentrated to her. attractive gestures. haha... we were just so didnt know what to do at that moment and felt so reluctant to enter and have everyone's eyes on us, and have no chance to explain why we're thr all in a sudden and so late... which we have done in the end thanks to the handsome officer who met us outside the "hall", kept on asking us to go in. actually it wasnt something big that matters much, but we just felt that way when we reached thr, the heart still pumping fast, got kinda nervous even to disturb her talk for a while. Anyway, we were FINALLY seated! but the heat was still surrounding... oh shit, the air cond wasnt functioning... i was sweating, so profusely... after a while, the cool air was back! which caused me to sneeze and found i caught flu when i got back into my room... but it doesnt matter as the talk was actually worth to attend, it was interesting! and she's a very nice person, and rich... lol, i'll make my million before 30!

finished a whole paragraph crapping non stop on stupid things, reporting an all-non-special day life, so ordinary carried by some badlucks, that's what made my day and also the reason why i'm feeling so tired and sick now! sick...

serious brain damage

cried so badly

so confused, the reason is so unknown
maybe my eyeballs need a thorough wash

onion is great, rich in...
" Onion and other Allium vegetables are characterized by their rich content of thiosulfinates, sulfides, sulfoxides, and ..." http://www.vegetarian-nutrition.info/updates/onions.php
wth... none of my business

facebook

i lost so many phone numbers of my friends, x colleagues, teachers, etc... when my hp lost. and i dun see them important or in need coz those numbers that i used to call nowadays i can remember them. and i've got them back very easily coz i meet them almost everyday. and when those old friends aka my all(old) time buddies msg me i can recognize them.

until when a secondary friend of mine got me thru msn and asked for my phone number i suddenly realised that all the while i've been keeping their numbers for nothing, really nothing coz i never sms or call them, some forwarded messages at times maybe, not often. but i've been feeling like i'm with them and could remember their faces when scrolling through the contact list, looking for familiar names to send a message or give a call to. and i remember that i have this friend's number saved in that lost sim card, so when she asked for mine today, i was like "huh?"...i have her number but she doesn't have mine... and now i see that those faces scaled in my mind all this while were actually their innocent looks of 6 years minus from now, i still remember where their pimples like to grow on. All with dark hairs, some with natural wave.

thanks to the facebook where i found back many of them recently and they all look different now, more mature, fairer and prettier @ smarter @ more handsome, got their hair straightened, some got nice wavy one, and mostly coloured. most of them are keeping long hair. some who used to keep long hair and looked like princess last time has now cut them short, new style, new friends, and different lifestyles they have now. except me. i'm dull. never changed my hairstyle for the sake of keeping healthy hair. so scared to get my hair "ironed" >< stupid.

those pictures in the school's annual magazine are so aged that the colour faded and the pages turned yellowish. when was the last time i flipped through it? they are really OLD memories right now. and so am i, bet my frens all stunned for seconds not at my name but my picture and wondered what happened to me before approving the friend request, lol! i'm damn fat now. fat! fat! fat!!!

though we never keep in touch or meet so often now, thanks to facebook again at least we know that all are safe and found our own paths. we share through the shoutouts and uploaded pictures, we know quite a lot about each other through the updates as if we can see what's going on in their real lives. we know everyone has been going through great and also down times, which is normal, and... interesting =)

whiter white coffee

maybe it's the cold weather, i am so addicted to the old town white coffee these days. i prefer the classic one. to make it milkier, i mix it with a teaspoon of milk powder. love to get some cream crackers, dip one into the coffee, put into the mouth and hmm~
there goes the song " what a wonderful world~..."
in a rainy day.

the washing machine in our house has been going strong for about 10 years until recent when it has started making very loud noise on every turn during the spins and finally leaving the clothes with water dripping when we take them out.
haih... RIP...

it's raining again, and i must restrain myself from having more than one cup of coffee a day><

white coffee is not white.

i sott jor

stepping into second half of the holiday, many pictures are in my head now. and i think i've just stamped the movie one with a big cross, X!

mom and dad will go out to have dinner with all my aunties... uncles... it's a gathering held every year for mom and her siblings who are quite far apart, staying with own families. All leading their own busy lives, so they make this the second largest annual gathering after cny. At each gathering they celebrate birthday for one of them starting from the eldest. So this year is the fourth and thanks to the raya holiday, my aunty arrived in kl today all the way from penang with her husband and kids, my long-time-no-see cousins. They are gonna have buffet tonight. haPpY biRThDAy in advance to her~ me also want to do this with my siblings in the future^^

back to the plan for movie on tomorrow, i think i cant make it already but i've promised to my fren. After postponing it for several times, i finally have to cancel it, desperately... coz my grandpa grandma will be in kl too, and for few days... so we're sure gonna go out together in families... but, how am i gonna explain?

the reason is reasonable, maybe it's the me in myself who actually long for movies... ><

at the same time that picture of movie-ing vanishes, i see the neighbouring one, a big one, the FYP... procrastination kills. cannot be playful anymore, must be SELF-DISCIPLINED already, ONE week(!!!) left and whether it's too late or not, i have to slave over it... who knows, my supervisor might ask for the draft that we owed him last month *sighing*

is it just because of this field that i'm in or is actually everyone also feel the same way about their fyps?

and this came across my mind when i was waiting for the lift last week, let's say, if the project is about mutation in mosquitoes which changes them to survive by sucking fat instead of blood o.O??? it might not be possible but, cant tell... hahaha... and to enlarge the scope, making one feeling unappetized instead of leaving behind itchy red welts? people on diet will definitely benefit from this@@ isn't it sounds much more interesting? lol...

days...

yesterday was tiring. we spent the whole day shopping. we've been putting on and off clothes, trying out each that appeared "okay" to us. i hate those nice dresses, i swear i'll own them one day with my own earnings! i'll make lots lots lots of money! and also get myself slim down><
how does it feel like to buy whatever we want without glancing at the price tag? i know the sigh a lot when "desire is price-oriented". who likes to squeeze with aunties uncles during big sales going from one big bucket to another and after digging for whole day finally a piece of shirt that your friends say not nice=.= what comes next is you find urself silly and walk out from that store.

back to the topic. after that whole day walk plus rain, my broken legs were still able to bring myself to the monorail and bus station. can feel my patella and heel bone which my bro says it's Calcaneum wor... whatever la, i'm pissed with him already, kicking basketball in the house like it's a football =.='''

another brother is still as noisy as usual, showing off his "slim" body with my new dress on, funny...=.=
and dunno why my sis is so addicted to sean kingston's fire burning, keep singing the same song out so loud especially this morning. wonder wut put her in a good mood today.

it's been raining these days,
and i should feel happy like her on holidays...

the loss of the rings

those were happy days
when the existing bud grows
irresisting everyday's approach
every glances that paused
i wanted to make them last


it's been 6 weeks since you were gone
way so sudden
in such a hurry
skipping all our memories
how could you...


everything seems still
until they defrost
and i just followed
soon i grow in the flow
in the way that nobody knows
every moment is sorrow


those tears stained faces
when memories spinning out of control
and the muted rush of shrill scream
mirrors my weaknesses
i am just a helpless figure


everything that i see
faded before i could feel
the silence that replays
the fear that remains
the tears that i cant contain


cares that never show
you would never know
everytime when i agree
i'm not being me


those days were the days
the only thing you left
the only thing now i have
living through the flashbacks
for you i will pretend


the denial that regrets
i would never forget
those days we spent together
would never reset
for they are always special


but up in air the question still...

how could you
and i am still...